Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The Fine Line Between Selfless and Stupid

In a relationship, we are taught that we should be selfless.  We are told that we should put the other person's needs above our own, but how true could this be?  Selflessness is defined as having, exhibiting, or motivated by no concern for oneself; unselfish.  I understand the unselfish part; the relationship is not one-sided.  It can't always be about me, but I am a firm believer in the idea that no one will treat you better than you treat yourself.  So if I am not motivated by or have no concern for myself, won't other people be so inclined to do the same, especially those who have not bought into this selflessness idea?  When you're in love, you seek to support, uplift, and upgrade the one that you're with (or at least I do) and AT TIMES selflessness is necessary.  A lot of the time to cross the fine line between selfless and stupid and our relationship choices our inability to  Let me provide a few examples.

You give and give and give (emotionally and physically) and your boyfriend or girlfriend never seem to give anything back to you: STUPID

You are always the one to make a sacrifice and your significant other always has an excuse about why they can't: STUPID

You know you would do anything for the one you're with, but somehow you're not quite sure that they feel the same way: STUPID

Selflessness can sometimes get you assed out and misused so I would say this, err on the side of caution.  Don't be afraid to show who you are and give freely of yourself, but you can never loose sight of who you are for the happiness of someone else.  If you are not met with the same 100% that you're giving, that's a recipe for disaster.  The bible talks about mates being "equally yoked" and this also rings true with way we give in relationships.  One partner cannot be expected to always be there if there is no expectation of reciprocity.  

Just some thoughts.  How I'm feeling at the time. 

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