Saturday, May 29, 2010

Loving Me

I'm working on loving me, and it's one of the most difficult things I've ever done.  I was such a pretender.  I was faking it to looking like I was making it, but that was all for show.  I'm really just learning who I am so how could I love someone I didn't even know.  Growing up I was filled with insecurities about my weight and my complexion, and as a young woman I carry the same struggles.  But I want to be different.  I want to look in the mirror everyday and love what I see.  I want to appreciate myself for all the wonderful things that I am instead of reflecting on all the things that I'm not.  Most of all, I want to love me so that I can show love and receive love in a way that I, myself, and others deserve.  The hardest thing is being in and nurturing a relationships when you're not in absolute and complete love with yourself.  I know from experience.  It leads to the manifestation of insecurities and the projection of those same insecurities on your partner, and life becomes a MESS.  And that's exactly what I did.  I made a huge mess of my life and my boyfriends life all because I didn't know me and I definitely didn't love me.  I lived for the love he showed me, and if it did not come exactly when I wanted it and how I wanted it I would question his commitment to me.  But in the end it was me.  It was all me.  I couldn't control my emotions so I played with his.  I did everything in my power to receive love, never realizing the without love for myself everything else would fail.  The road is rough, and I'm far from perfect.  But everyday I grow more and more in love. Yes I have setbacks and days where I wake up unhappy with who I am, but I'm growing and I'm excited for what my future holds.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Basically Me

Just a few things I love:

God. family. JWM. life. breathing. smiles. laughter. fresh sneakers. good movies. sunglasses. traveling. crosses. perfume. Vogue. Kimora Lee. fabulosity. leopard print. pictures. Audrey Hepburn. well-written books. pretty dresses. peppermint and green tea. Temple Football. scented candles. kate spade. positivity. fashion. pillows. Coco Chanel. Starbucks. tattoos. honest. flur-de-lis. Marc by Marc. spontaneity. big risks. big rewards. refinement. 1st impressions. 2nd chances. life discussions. change. growth. progress. self-evaluation. high heels. the good life. realness. Angela Simmons. Nike Dunks. Hello Kitty. The Cardinals. hippie headbands. MAC. Viva La Juicy. love. And the list goes on...

    Sometimes we all need to profess our loves.  It reminds us of true happiness, passion, and it gets to the core of who we REALLY are.

Follow Me

...and so my cosmic journey to greatness begins.  Think of this blog as an extension of me.  I consider this my interactive memoir.  You're in luck because the revolution and my evolution will be televised.  I'm so much more than meets the eye with so much to prove.  So here goes nothing...