My Breakthrough

I can't believe I went the entire month of February without a single post.  This past month was a trying one but again I have returned with new lessons and as a stronger person.  I spoke to my grandmother awhile back about why things seem to all go wrong at once.  She brought up the concept of a breakthrough.  Growing up in the church, I always heard people talking about God preparing individuals for something great.  My grandmother talked about things becoming difficult and facing challenges as preparation for something so much bigger than myself.  I didn't know how to feel at first.  I think the difficulties faced started to created this bitter hatred inside of me.  That brought about feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and disdain towards those who, I can now see, were placed in my life to do good and to change me.  I have been in a low place.  I surrounded myself with negativity which only fueled my downward spiral.  I lost the sense of who I was.  It took a powerful word, The Posture of Expectation, and a joyous occasion with old and new friends for me to really get back to me.  To life.  To love.  And although somethings still seem to be going wrong, I know that I am on the verge of my breakthrough.  I'm at the point were God can really make me and mold me into what I should be, and he has shown me a glimpse of the great things he has in store for my life.

It was about humility.  I had to humble myself and be humbled by my experiences and those around me so that I could be lifted to new levels.  Humility is a a lesson I have continued to be taught (especially in Fall 08/Spring 09).  And I'm still learning.  Except now I am really changing.  I can feel it.  I can see it.  I can even taste it.  I want to be better for myself and for all those around me that God would have me come in contact with.  I have a purpose, and learning humility will only push me closer to my breakthrough.  Please don't get it confused, life is still a struggle but I can now recognize that God has a purpose in all of my struggles.  Everything happens for a reason, and I know that in my case there is a BIG reason coming soon.  I just have to do all I can to make sure that I'm ready!